Filling the Void

Life without methadone is so hard. Well if I am totally true life without opiates is even worse. We're are not talking about pain, that’s something else entirely. I am talking about the feeling inside. The deep longing for something, a hurt, an emptiness, a longing for something. It is the big gaping hole left behind when you stop using drugs. It’s ugly, deep, and intimidating. You know your drug use filled in the space with anger, fuzzy memories, and lies – but sometimes you wish you could go back. Kind of an unhealthy security blanket. Standing on the edge of the void, hoping I don’t fall in. Hoping I don’t jump in. What in the world do you do to fill it up with the right stuff in your new life?

In drug treatment I learned a lot about my addiction thinking. So many lies to myself and others, so much distortion, so much negativity. When I stepped back and really looked at the way I thought about things, I was amazed.

I did about 3 weeks in detox and I have to say it was easy a real positive mental attitude to come off that green shit. Everything about it was nasty the thought, the taste. It made me sick to my stomach and I can still taste the bloody stuff. Saying that life without it is so very much harder. I am that young child again who fell and hurt his knee then went cry to his mum to make it all better. Really wish she could make it all better again. I really believe that detox starts after you get off your drug. It’s what’s left over after that crutch has gone. Someone should has told me about the hell that is to come.

I am unsure if this is a physical addiction but I am a dependent not a user or so people tell me and it was never my choice to take drugs. A medical addiction, it should be easy for you. You never took heroin what’s the problem. When I try to explain about meth to people nearly everyone thinks heroin first before they think why. This was all given to me by the medical profession that’s what makes it worse. It was with good intention but that’s not helping me now

I was so short sighted when my doctor at the time suggested using methadone as pain killer. Fine I said let's go for it. Every drug I have ever used I have researched, really checked it out. Why did I not do it for methadone?  I think I really screwed myself up. Really bad choice. Out of all the pain medication I have used in my life this by far the worse and I really wish I did not decide to use it.

I live with an uncertain future I have really screwed up so much in my life and I am unsure if I can put it all right.

Copyright © July 2013 Sean Fairbrother

Important Advice for the Atos Medical Examination: Beware the warm smile and the gentle voice!

I was at the SHP blog workshop on Friday when a conversation began about the Atos medical examination and about the assessment procedure. One of the participants in the conversation had recently been for a medical examination she had taken a friend to observe the procedure. Her friend began taking notes at which point the examiner told the person to stop as it is not allowed.

That was wrong.

Drinking has got me into a lot of problems in my life

It started when I used to go out with my ex-girlfriend.  I was drinking quite a bit, normally about six pints when we used to go out, it started getting worst when she saw me with a few black eyes and sometimes being abusive toward her.

It got to the point where she couldn’t take it anymore. This is when I fell off the bus when I was a bit drunk; when she broke up with me this the drinking started getting worst. When I try to get her I was hanging around her and home, about six pints a day; this is when it started getting me to into trouble with the police and having a lot of convictions and being in prision.

It’s caused lot of problems with my family, arguing and being abusive. Drinking has got to the point where I cannot remember previous; I lost a lot of jobs because of drinking – and a lot of money, and getting into debt, and have lost a lot of accommodations.

Drinking has caused some mental health issues, being in and out of hospital, and as a result of this I have to acknowledge what drinking does. I have lost a lot of friends: people don’t really want to know you any more.

The bad thing about drinking is:

1. it causes anxiety.  
2. your perception of life is different.
3. health.
4. become isolated.
5. aggressive behaviour.
6. mixed emotions.

--Anonymous

MAGGIE'S FUNERAL

So much for “We are all in it together”, “Times of austerity”, “We must all face cuts and tighten our belts”.

After spending millions of pounds of tax payers' money on the Queen’s jubilee, an event that was mostly held and benefited London, the Tory-led coalition has decided to spend around £10 million on a funeral for one of the most despised Prime Ministers since the introduction of The Six Acts in 1819.

£10 million is the estimate that is without the cost of the security measures surrounding the event. All Police leave has been cancelled in the London Metropolitan Police force. Snipers are been deployed on the roofs along and around the route of the funeral procession, which has been named “Code True Blue”.

The name “True Blue” I feel reflects how the Prime Minister and the Tories feel about the Late Prime Minister Thatcher and how she was for the business community the City of London and the rich. The workers and their communities were seen as an obstacle to be oppressed by her and her peers.

The Prime Minister Cameron, the Tory Party and many of the right wing press such as the Daily Mail, The Daily Telegraph and The Sun are appalled at some of the vitriol being expressed in the social media, (twitter, etc.), and by public figures and M.Ps such as Glenda Jackson and Morrissey. (Also look up “Margaret on the Guillotine” by Morrissey on You Tube music).

The pro-Thatcherites are outraged at this and use the excuse that a dead person should not be vilified as Thatcher is.  An example. I did not hear anyone saying this after Gaddafi's death as he was abused by the same press and media that are now attempting to silence the people’s voice about protecting and tempering criticism of the dead. Before anyone rises I am not in anyway comparing the late Maggie Thatcher to Col. Gaddafi, it is only an example of the hypocrisy of the press.    

The Tory right wing media are always banging the drum about democracy, free speech and freedom of the press of course this only applies when the “Press Barons” such as Rupert Murdoch, agrees with what is being said and represented. If The Sun and The Daily Mail feel you are attacking what they believe in, the establishment, the City and /or its leaders they will attempt to discredit the messenger by looking at their past and present lifestyle and occupation and smearing the person and leading a campaign for them to be sacked from their job if it is in anyway connected to public service. Such as the Drama teacher Romany Blythe and the Police Sergeant Jeremy Scott who has since resigned after the Daily Mail vindictively mounted a campaign to have them both sacked.

Police Sergeant Jeremy Scott has resigned.  He had served over twenty years in the Metropolitan Police Force and was facing possible suspension and an investigation into his twitter account @thinbluespeck..

Thatcher’s Grave

Let the bonfires burn bright,

The trumpets gaily play,
The Drummers drill away,
Let the Bagpipes blaw,
To be heard far away,

The children gaily play,

As I Dance on Thatcher’s Grave,

Monday was a beautiful day.

by McTaggart

The Tory Nasty Party are back: Lord Freud and the Bedroom Tax

I could not believe what I was hearing on the B.B.C.  Radio Five Live Victoria Derbyshire morning programme in a discussion with Lord Freud and Radio Five listeners about the imminent new Under Occupancy Act, otherwise infamously known as the Bedroom Tax. This tax comes into effect on Monday 1^st April 2013.

The Bedroom Tax is where people who have a spare bedroom and are on a benefit will have their housing benefit cut.

Lord Freud was asked specific questions by listeners regarding how the tax would affect them.

One had a son in the army and wanted to keep his bedroom for when the son was on leave so he felt he had a home to come back to. Another had separated from his wife and the 3 children stayed with him at the weekend, the school holidays and at other times.  Another had disabilities that affected his breathing and he had to use an oxygen tank and other apparatus to help him breathe. He had to sleep with his head raised on the bed so he slept in a separate room from his wife so they could both sleep without him disturbing her from the noise of the oxygen and his sleeping position in the bed. Another had a daughter going to university.

Lord Freud did not answer the specific questions asked by people on the phone but choose to give the bog standard Government answer such as “difficult times, times of austerity” we need to reform the system to stop the scroungers, [my words], living in luxury (?) with too many rooms that they don’t need.

Here is the solution that Lord Freud gave to the tenants:

To the father who has his children stay at the weekends and various other nights Lord Freud said: “He should move to a one bedroom house then buy a sofa bed so the 3 children could sleep in the living room.”

To the parents of the student at university he said; “Why don’t you take in a lodger.” So what does the daughter do when she returns home for a weekend visit and during the holidays? Sleep with the lodger? Obviously he is not aware that as a student living in student accommodation it is classed as temporary accommodation. The man with breathing and other medical problems he ignored.

It beggars belief that this Lord of the realm, who is the Prime Minister David Cameron’s Under Secretary of State (Lords) for the Department of Work and Pensions, who between January 2008 and February 2009 acted as an advisor on welfare reform to the U.K. government, is ignorant of the tenancy law; that he does not know that under the tenancy agreement between a tenant and the local council or housing association it is illegal to sublet any part of the accommodation. Yet here he is happily telling people to break the conditions of their tenancy agreement.  

Apart from Lord Freud’s lack of knowledge regarding tenancy agreements, I feel it shows the arrogance of members of the Tory party to tell people to say “It is alright, just take in a lodger”. Problem solved, easy peasy. 

Say it did happen. First of all it would lead to complications on any welfare payment they receive whether they are working or not.  Probably any welfare benefit they get would be cut or stopped including their rent and council tax payments. Would the tax man have interest in this extra income?

What about insurance cover? Many insurance companies will not insure you or the house if you have a lodger, or the premium is very expensive. What happens when the offspring comes home from University and the Army? Do they sleep in the living room or the bathroom? Do you want a lodger in your house using all the facilities?

This is rich coming from a man who owns two large houses. One, a country mansion in Kent, which is believed to be one of the oldest in England, has eight bedrooms. The other is a £1.9 million four bedroom house in Highgate, London that he shares with his wife. So that is a total of 12 bedrooms for two people which of eight are only used at weekends, holidays or for entertaining on special occasions.

What a hypocrite Lord Freud is. A man who owns two homes with twelve bedrooms for two people is plunging over 100,000 people into poverty, causing them extreme anxiety and leading to their illnesses becoming acute. 

Is this not a form of “ethnic cleansing,” this time done on a socio-economic scale rather than a race or religious doctrine?

Just to show this multi-millionaire’s arrogance and lack of feeling for the working class communities, vulnerable and people with mental or physical problems, Lord Freud stated in an interview with The House magazine, "We've got the circumstances now where... people who are poorer should be prepared to take the biggest risks - they've got least to lose."

The Tory “Nasty Party” is back with a vengeance.

McTaggart

Are the Irish politicians aware we are now in the 21st Century?

I ask this regarding the case of Pauline Conboy a 46 year old woman with Down’s syndrome who had her passport confiscated.  Her crime was to attempt to fly to Florida to visit her brother and family to see if she would like to live there.    

Pauline lived with her Mother until her Mother’s death last year. Pauline needs some support to live but is mostly independent. It was planned that if Pauline liked it she could live with her brother and his family in Florida.

Here comes the crux of the matter: for some reason the Irish passport office took Pauline’s passport off her denying her the right as human being to travel to meet her brother and family in the U.S.A. The reason for this to quote:  “The Irish Passport Office took my passport and my rights away just over a year ago because they claim they got a "report" but it's a secret report and they won't show it to anyone - I'm not kidding!”

Pauline’s plight has been ignored by the passport office officials and the Passport Office Director responsible for the passport office. The Director had the arrogance, or was it he felt embarrassed and shameful about the situation, to leave his office early on a Friday afternoon when he knew that Pauline and her sister in law were packing their bags and trying to contact him to leave on a plane to Florida.  No doubt he had to go to his weekend retreat and prepare for his evening dinner party.

The Irish passport office will not budge and appears to be hiding behind smoke screens and feeble excuses by stating that a disabled person needs to have a “legal guardian”. The Irish Passports Act 2008 allows people with disabilities to "duly authorise" anyone to fill out and sign an application form so there is no need in law to have a “legal guardian”.

Pauline Conboy says: “So it is not Irish law that is wrong, it is the Passport Office Director and the Minister for Foreign Affairs who don't seem to understand that I am entitled to the same rights as everyone else, so please don't let them get away with this discrimination and injustice.

I ask this question: Are the people involved in the decision to confiscate Pauline’s passport to embarrassed to admit to their mistake and stubbornly standing by the decision to save criticism and face?    

Is it not a fact that the Irish Government has allowed Pedophile Priests to leave the country without any questions, harassment or charges to travel to the other countries with their passports intact. 

From Pauline’s site:

Please call or email the Irish Passport Office at +353 1 671 1633, Email: Joseph.Nugent@dfa.ie, and ask them to give Pauline Conboy her passport PC8471397 back right away. It is so hard on me and my family to be kept apart like this for no reason.  We have done nothing wrong to deserve this.  I just want to spend time with my family who love me, just like I did in the past before my passport was taken away. It's not fair that I am now being stopped from leaving the country for no reason.  Thank you for helping me because by helping me you are also helping other people with disabilities as well as helping preserve everyone's rights.

Pauline Conboy says: “So it is not Irish law that is wrong, it is the Passport Office Director and the Minister for Foreign Affairs, who don't seem to understand that I am entitled to the same rights as everyone else, so please don't let them get away with this discrimination and injustice.”
The Minister for Foreign affairs is Eamon Gilmore T.D. who can be contacted at:
Office of the Tánaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs and Trade,
Iveagh House,
80 St. Stephen’s Green,
Dublin 2.
Believe it or not he has a degree in Psychology from the University of Galway.

McTaggart

Happy New Year? It was until the Tory-led coalition once again began its attack on the poorly paid

It was until the Tory-led coalition once again began its attack on the poorly paid.

In fact the attack on the low wage earner and the people on benefits began just after Christmas with the right wing Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne demanding that the National State Welfare budget be cut by £10 billion. Where did that figure come from? Was it just plucked out of the air as a good “sound bite” figure to ensure the headlines would follow in the Daily Express and the Daily Mail?

I have not seen any figures to justify this claim that it is £10 billion that needs to be cut from the Welfare budget. It appears to tally with the Tory led coalition aim to cut the loan deficit.

I am also astonished, as far as I have seen/heard at the way the media such as the BBC television and radio channels, Channel 4 or the ITV news have never crossed examined the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne on how he came to this conclusion.  Just a thought, I find it a wee bit strange that you never see George Osborne give interviews. Is that due to his past performances in live interviews and gaffe blown comments?

On Tuesday 8^th January 2013 the House of Commons voted to restrict any rise of benefits of working age to 1% over the next 3 years. This included Working Tax Credits, a payment by the taxpayer to boost the pay of low-paid workers rather than have the worker being paid a living wage by the large companies who make billion of pounds profit to pay their shareholders a large dividend at the tax payer’s expense.

When I say shareholders I am not talking about the person in the street who may have a few shares in a company but the very large global companies listed on the London, New York and the Tokyo stock exchange which make billions of pounds/dollars profit every year.

--McTaggart

A Keen Jobseeker's Story

One of our bloggers would like to share with Unheard Holler a complaint she is making about the long, difficult experience she has had as a Jobseeker.

There’s lots of details below about the mental distress she has suffered, what she calls the ‘incompetence’ of JobCentre staff, the debt she has got into following repeated, ‘unfair’ sanctions and miscommunications.

Read on to find out the reality of being a keen, dedicated Jobseeker...

To Whom It May Concern

I write to you to raise a complaint on the treatment I have received from both Job Centre Plus and Prospects staff whilst I have been on the work programme.

I have been on the work programme since June 2011, to date I am yet to be assisted to locate suitable employment or training opportunities to increase my chances of employment via the job centre and the work programme. I have been deeply dissatisfied with the treatment I have received from staff at both Job centre plus and Prospects my reasons are detailed below.

· I was granted indefinite leave to remain in the UK and had provided a letter from the home office to confirm this at the start of the work programme in June 2011. I also advised my JSA advisor that I had a letter confirming my indefinite leave to remain status but was never asked to provide this information and instead was placed on a sanction in July 2012.

· I was never advised reason for the sanction or how this could be appealed until I requested a letter be sent detailing the reason for the sanction. This was sent on the 21/08/2012 over a month since the sanction was put in place.

· Following a meeting with a JSA advisor and Job Centre Plus manager it was established that the job centre advisor had made a note on the system“claimant not looking for work” and raised a sanction.

· On the 21/09/2012 a letter of appeal was made this included copies of indefinite leave to remain letter from the home office, letters from the home office confirming they were looking into an application for a duplicate passport, and a copy of my sign on book that documented my efforts to search and apply for jobs on a weekly basis.

· The manager advised that this would be looked into and a decision made within 1 week from the 21/09/2012.

· No decision was made until the 19/10/2012 following meeting with another Job Centre Plus manager. The information presented in the appeal on the 21/09/2012 was presented again to the Job Centre manager and he recommended the sanction be lifted and a back payment was made for £923 the following week. The manager advised this sanction was raised following a miscommunication.

· It has established during the above meeting with the Job Centre Plus manager that another sanctioned had been applied for failure to apply for two jobs, yet no letter had been sent to confirm this and was first aware of this whilst in the meeting with the Job Centre Plus manager.

· Following a phone call to DWP I was advised the sanction would be lifted on the 07/11/2012.

During my time with the work programme my IT and literacy skills have not been addressed. Despite requesting help to locate training, to improve my chances of employment opportunities I am yet to have these needs met.

During my visits to the job centre, I was made to feel like a second class citizen. I often felt like I was being spoken to like something on the bottom of the staff’s shoe. Advisors never ensured I had a good understanding of what I was required to do. I would often get confused in sessions with advisors and relied on the assistance of my support worker to ensure I understood the content of the meetings with JSA advisors.

Due to the issues I have had in the past with the Job Centre Plus it was recommended by a Job Centre Manager that I attend all work programme and Job Centre sessions with my support worker. However when I requested my support worker be present at my next work programme meeting it was refused by the Prospects manager, I was aware my advisor contacted Prospects to discuss my sanction and action plan but Prospect staff were not forthcoming and I can only assume that Prospects do not approve of clients receiving support from other agencies.

This left me feeling extremely frustrated and annoyed that the manager of Prospects was denying my right to have my needs met by allowing my support worker to be present to ensure I had a full understanding of my role in my action plan with the work programme advisor and to advocate on my behalf ensuring my voice was heard in the action plan and the action plan was been completed.

I have no faith or assurance in Job Centre Plus or the Work Programme. I fear my benefits can be cut at any moment for no good reason.

Staff ignore me or show me attitude when attending the Job Centre. Once whilst in the Job Centre completing a job search I over heard a manager gossiping about me to an advisor in relation to my right to work in the UK.

During my sanction I felt I was going throw a mental breakdown and visited my GP about my state of mind, consequently I was advised that my cholesterol was high and was offered counselling.

I borrowed money from family members, which caused an already difficult domestic situation to become worse and put me at greater risk. Eventually my family ignored my calls for help, and I succumbed to pressure to take out a high rate cash loan, in order to cover fulfilments to my council tax and rent as I was being threatened with court action.

Whilst on my sanction I had to walk to all appointments, job interviews, as I was without money and often without food, but as I feared there would be further consequences to my benefits so I persevered with the walking. The constant walking has consequently caused health problems to my feet.

I have been on an action plan with the Work Programme for over a year and I have received more comprehensive support from my support work in aiding me to be in a better position to obtain work which include attend ETE workshops, locating suitable training opportunities, as well as emotional support around the sanction and dealing with job centre and work programme advisors.

The key points that I would like to make in this complaint are:

- I have not received basic support to prepare for work.

- I attended every single appointment and fulfilled job search requirements whilst on sanction.

- I was sanctioned unfairly, through Job Centre Plus staff incompetence.

- I did not receive communication of either sanction to my benefits.

- The sanction which was applied incorrectly was only corrected because I and my support worker challenged the sanction.

- My lack of knowledge of what I am entitled to and lack of confidence to challenge staff means I rely on my support worker and this was denied by Prospect staff.

- I was left with large debt following my sanction.

- My mental state was hugely affected by events that followed from the sanction to my benefits.

Signed,

 

A Keen Jobseeker

 

 

Council Tax Benefit Changes 2013

How many people know about the change in the way Council Tax Benefit is going to be paid from April 2013?

From April 2013 Council Tax Benefit (CTB) will be re-named Council Tax Support, (CTS), and payments will become the responsibility of the local authority. The Council Tax budget will also be cut by 10 to 15% and will be paid from a “pot” system rather than a CTS budget fund. This means that the local authority will have to take into account every person who is eligible for a CTS payment and decide how much a person may receive in benefit.

Excluded from this are people of pension age and over.

For example a local council which has a CTS budget of say £10 million has to first pay the people of pension age and over, which may come to £2 million leaving only £8 million left for everyone else applying for CTS.  

The main bulk of people that are going to be affected by this change are those of a working age i.e. those below the pension age. If you fall into the working age bracket the amount of help you receive under the CTS scheme may be less than you currently receive on the current Council Tax Benefit scheme. 

The new system may mean that people who currently receive a full CTB payment will have their payment reduced and possibly have to pay 10 – 20% of their Council Tax.

This will inevitably lead to pushing people further into poverty and debt. (There is currently about 1 in 4 adults living below the poverty line, 13 million approx., and 1 in 3 children about 4 million). 

I feel this will lead to higher crime, a possible increase in the sex trade and a greater use of illegal drugs.  One benefactor may be the “One Stop” or “Pay Day” loan shops that are currently increasing in number in the local High street. These loan “sharks” charge very high interest rates, it is reported as much as 800% Annual Percentage Rate (A.P.R.).

McTaggart   

TUC Anti- Austerity March Saturday 20th October 2012 London

Are you going to be at the Anti-Austerity march leaving from the Embankment, London at 12.00 p.m.to Hyde Park?

If not, why not?

There will thousands of people from all over U.K. arriving by coach, train and motor car to demonstrate against the Tory led Coalition government austerity cuts and the Tory dogma that it is the poorest who have to suffer for their austerity programme to work.

There is definitely a hollow ring to the Prime Minister David Cameron’s slogan “that we are all in it together”. Little or no pay rises cuts to social welfare funding and changes to how benefits such as Housing Benefit will be paid whilst cutting the tax threshold that the highest earners in the country have to pay.

The disabled, sick and the terminally ill being passed as fit for work by a biased and disgraceful medical assessment procedure.

Cuts to the N.H.S. budget meaning less staff, ward closures and worst of all hospital closures.  This week it was announced in several counties in England that ambulance stations will be closed in local areas and main “hubs” will replace them. This will mean an ambulance travelling many miles further to an emergency taking a longer tome which is often crucial in saving a person’s life.

Let us make it clear to the Government that we, the people are very unhappy with this Government’s policy on the economy and their programme for austerity cuts.

Join the march on Saturday 20th October at 12.00 p.m. at the Embankment London.

Remember, “We are many but they are few”.

A second award nomination!

More fantastic news just in!

OnRoad Media's work on Unheard Holler has been shortlisted for the Community Impact Award from Technology4Good Awards 2012.

OnRoad Media supported us to shoot videos and write blog posts in response to the August riots and the rise in unemployment across the UK. Watch us interview 'Hackney Heroine' Pauline Pearce and hit the streets to talk to locals.

Check back here to hear more on July 6th!