The Helping Hand by Fritz

The hand that hit me
Never done me no good
Nor have I ever learned
By the kick of a foot
All I ever learnt about respect
Was love I received and didn't even expect

There's no justification to do anyone harm
If those that really hurt you are forever out of reach of your arm

Dog eats dog
It's called cannibalism

And if you can understand
You can't hate
But to understand
You've first got to listen

--Fritz

NYE Retreat 2012: Shining Your Light

Mindful that New Year's Eve 2012 was likely to be challenging, being my first New Year in recovery from addiction, I wanted to mark it in a special way. I was lucky enough to be awarded funding to go on a 3 day spiritual retreat at the beautiful Buckland Hall in South Wales.

In my difficult early days of recovery, back in February 2012, meditation and mindfulness had been extremely important to me but as the year went on I had let my spiritual practice lapse and I was anxious to re-connect with this. The retreat fulfilled all these objectives and more. It brought me into contact with like-minded people, and I was so happy that they wanted to know the real me-without alcohol or drugs clouding the picture.

The theme of the retreat was “Shining your Light”. On NYE afternoon we were asked to write a poem on this theme. Now I am someone who cringes at the mention of poetry, yet I was able to write a few heartfelt lines that seemed to move my friends on the retreat. I’d like to share this with Unheard Holler and it gives me great pleasure to be able to give something back to SHP who helped me get back on my feet in 2012.

The Light

I thought my light had been extinguished

By suffering, loss, betrayal and addiction

But all these things have only made it burn brighter

Brighter than a perfect Kylie pop song

Radiating wider than the ocean

Sparkling through my eyes

Attracting more light

Warming my skin like a balmy summer breeze

And touching those close to me

Rays of compassion and kindness

Forged in the furnace of fear and loathing

Transformed into hope and love

 
By Richard Kiddle

Life Saver

I just want to tell you about my experience during treatment for Hep C. To be honest it is hard, but for people like us with addictions etc., so is life eh? So, don’t let that bother you. Yes, it’s long but like a prison sentence it starts off slow and once you’re into it and stable it’s coming to an end. Once halfway you will want to finish it. At no time did I want to stop. The decision to do treatment was easy because I  wanted to do something positive for my health in a controlled environment with support, plus I had a nurse at the hospital too who was there throughout the course. I was seen quickly at the hospital so it wasn’t a pain. The mental side of it was to begin with a nightmare, it took four to five weeks to get the medication right then I lost the bears head and started being approachable again. One thing I will say is I wish someone had told me what to expect then I may have handled it better. I think I lost it once when I asked the doctor for sleepers and he told me he didn’t want to give them to me because they are addictive, not funny eh? I got them in the end, you have to be assertive with the GP.  Positives are when your liver gets an M.O.T. whether or not you clear it. There are two different types of virus. I got type one the more aggressive one, so I am not putting my hopes up. So, you have the test and find out before writing it off. If you drink it may save your life or at least put a few years on it by doing the treatment. About the medication, the weekly first injection is the one that knocks you out. The others are ok and the tablets too. I found I was tired a lot of the time and found it hard to get motivated. That is the thing I remember most and the loss of appetite. I managed to get the health drinks ‘Ensure Plus’ to get me through the treatment. Everyone’s different, if you can eat great. I couldn’t. Well, it is doable don’t let people put you off, it is your life you will be saving or extending it, not anyone else’s.

J