A long road travelled

Photo by Bern J. Altman.
Photo taken from http://www.sxc.hu/ 

I was in the army for four years. I was based in Catterick, Durham, Dorset and Germany where my regiment were. The army was one big laugh. It was the best time of my life. I got out before the regiment saw any action. My first time in prison was a week after I came out of the army in 2002 and it’s been non stop since then. I don’t think I’ve had a full year out since then.

I was medically discharged because of my mental health. Since then I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe depression. My life’s been a bit messed up. I have had counselling but it doesn’t seem to work. I have only just got my medication and really hope that will change things. I can’t even go out on my own most of the time.

I met my ex partner in 2002 whilst I was still in the army, based in Dorset. We got together after I spent a week’s holiday in Cornwall. Straight after that, everything happened at once; I was discharged from the army and my Mum died of cancer shortly after. I ended up doing a bit of time in prison and then went to live with my ex’s family when I came out. They are like my family.

I started working on the fishing boats in 2003. I was making good money. I stopped when my daughter was born because it wasn’t a safe life when you have got a little girl. It was a hard job to give up because it meant we had to change our lifestyle. I’ve only ever had one trip where we came home with nothing but other times we would get 4 grand.  When I had to give it up, that’s when the crime started. I regret it. I wish I could apologise to everyone and I could give everything back to the people I took it from. Sometimes I think I just want to get my head fixed and get back on the boats.

I separated from my ex partner in 2008 and ended up back in London where I am from originally. I came to SHP in 2011. I want to give London a go because all I know of it has been drugs. I’m living in the best place ever now. I like the cafés on Upper Street. It’s a nice city and I should be proud of where I’m from. Now that I’m not on the drugs I want to see the nice things.

My goal is in five years to become a Drug’s Worker. When I was in prison, I used to have loads of people in my cell saying to me “I’m stressed with this or that”. They would send people in to talk to me. Now I want to put something back into the community.

I speak to my daughter Kelsey on the phone every day. I haven’t seen her since 2008 I plan to go to Cornwall for her birthday. Now I’m back in touch with my daughter I don’t want to go back to jail. Once I’ve seen Kelsey I might not even want to come back to London. I could move down to Penzance where the fishing boats are.


Paul Stedman