My Life Without You

To begin with she was a good mum and I was her son.  I had duties in the house and I had to go to school, which was only around the corner, and my friends were there which made me happy every day I was there. We had holidays and mum worked as a barmaid in London, not on holiday, and she looked after me very well. Dad worked as a chef and looked after mum.

When my father passed away it had some kind of effect on me and I had a nervous breakdown. I had another breakdown a few years after that. The second breakdown was worse than the first one because I felt sick, strange even. I lost all concept of everything and I had to see a doctor. They said I had paranoid schizophrenia and sent me to the royal Massonic hospital. I was given a room with a television and was given medication. About ten years later I made a recovery, but I still need medication because of the voices.

But I’m stronger now; I go to the gym and go jogging. I’ve given up smoking and drugs and drink and that was the key. Getting fit is a way of finding yourself; it’s like having a whole new body. It’s like you have a new spirit, new body, and new way of life. When I exercise my voices change – they stop being paranoid and start sounding funny, like a zany character. Even the feelings you get are different – happiness, completion, you feel at peace with everyone on the rack. I find out about myself when I exercise. I’ve started talking to everyone at the track and we get along famously.

I’m still hearing voices and that doesn’t go away. My parents are not there anymore and I find my mental illness very hard to deal with all of the time. It doesn’t go away. I had to find a way to re build myself and make some kind of recovery. I’ve made a full recovery with the help of my carers and Julia my friend who I love very much. I think I’ll always hear voices, but they don’t attack me and leave me paranoid anymore. Now I have a great life with SHP and doing races and going to the gym. I even work in my local library as a library assistant. The voices are still there and I miss mum and dad but Julia’s still there so I’m happy.

Got off drugs and drink

Exercise – jogging every day – routine – boosting endorphins naturally – eating healthily keeps you stable

Met Julia

Diet and take care of physical

If you keep at it you recover more than you and others imagined.

Jean Camilleri